Are you in for some outdoor play?

On our minds

“Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other’s gold.” It’s a Girl Scout song, and it’s good advice, but as we move deeper into adulthood, the “new friends” part can get harder.

Sociologists frame it as a “ friendship market.” When you enter a new arena—like a new classroom or your study-abroad orientation—everyone is in the market. Everyone is excited and looking to make new friends. That's why it often seems easiest to make friends as a teen or young adult.

In college and just after, we often live with roommates and may find ourselves grabbing a meal or a chat because we’re in the same place at the same time. We also may have more energy and space for spur-of-the-moment hangs. Research shows that our social circles start to contract around age 25. Maybe it’s because family and career pick up, but also, we may be less proximate to our friends, resulting in fewer spontaneous interactions than a few years earlier. But even if maintaining friendships takes more work as we age, the worthiness of that work is well documented.

Our work-based friendships have made fewer headlines, but their power should not be underestimated. One question in Gallup’s Q12 poll, a key metric of performance and engagement used by many workplaces, asks whether you have a “best friend at work.” A survey by accounting firm KPMG found that these friendships are the “secret sauce” for workplace engagement and job satisfaction. Work friends make us more resilient. They can be particularly empathetic when we need to vent about job challenges, and they may take on a heightened importance in an era when many of us socialize less outside of work.

Forging strong work friendships may be more difficult than in previous decades. Relying on digital communication, even when we’re in-office, lessens proximity —and proximity is one of the best-studied facets of forming friendships. (This phenomenon of proximity correlating with better communication was studied by MIT professor Thomas Allen in the ‘70s, the map of which came to be known as the Allen Curve.)

Proximity helps build trust, even among strangers. Think about the last time something startled you in public. Maybe the walk signal came on, and you and a stranger both stepped into the crosswalk, then sprang back to escape a car speeding through the intersection. Did you comment on your shared close call?

Or maybe you paused to take in a rainbow and noticed a nearby stranger doing the same. Did you exchange a smile, in a shared acknowledgment of something unexpected and delightful?

We’ve written about the value of small talk and weak ties, but if you were thrown into proximity with these people again—if you noticed them on your commute or in your favorite coffee shop—you’re more likely to recognize them and speak, because you shared an unusual experience. If you run into them regularly, they might even become a friend. Research indicates that just being near someone is enough to make you like them.

Proximity is amazing when it is serendipitous, but planned proximity works just as well. Have you heard of the 11-3-6 rule? This social guideline comes from a 2022 study that found it takes approximately 11 meetings, lasting 3 hours each, over six months, to turn an acquaintance into a friend. Obviously, it’s not as exact a science as this formula suggests, but even with tons of common ground, you can’t befriend someone you never interact with.

Proximity, combined with memorable experiences, is an even more effective way to forge connections. “ Collective effervescence” is the psychological term for shared rituals or emotional experiences that create a sense of belonging and of being part of a greater whole. It often shows up in religious or sporting arenas, at concerts, protests, and political rallies, or at weddings and other culturally significant events.

Want a shortcut to effervescence? At PLASTARC, we’re big advocates of play, delight, surprise, and tactile experiences. Having a heart-to-heart is a key way to bond, but engaging in a physical activity with others triggers endorphins and behavioral synchronicity that may make a stronger, more systemic neurological impact than a simple chat.

So what does all of this mean for your relationships with coworkers? The big takeaway is to not let these relationships be an afterthought! Nurturing coworker relationships is an indirect form of self-care that will lead to a better work life—and work occupies a major chunk of our waking hours! Go on fall adventures with your team. Start workplace rituals. Mix things up—try a group hike one month and a trivia night the next. (There’s nothing like trivia to show us how our individual differences, and different expertise, are our collective strength!)

Taking risks with colleagues outside of work—trying new activities together or supporting a colleague’s band, volunteer work, or athletic endeavor—builds trust and safety, making it easier to take risks when the stakes are high, such as when you’re under pressure and delivering to a client.

Spending time with colleagues, whether in or out of the office, plays a critical role in how positive we feel about our work experience. Time outside of work can help ensure that everyone feels seen and appreciated at work. Because if you don’t feel seen at work, it’s hard to be engaged, excited, or productive.

In the spirit of teamwork, here’s a playlist about collaboration and collective success, to queue up for your next social event with coworkers. Fall has the best vibes—cozy vibes but also, transformational vibes. Fall is about change, about quickening your step to match the crispness in the air, about feeling hopeful, motivated, and valued. So happy fall to you and your team!

From the archives

This time of year, we’re all in search of great gifts. Throughout the years, PLASTARC has offered many suggestions on how to gift yourself, as well as others. Back in 2017, we had all sorts of affordable ideas for making your workplace better – from plants to constructible office supplies. The Gallup Q12 survey actually makes an appearance in our 2018 gift guide, alongside gifts focused on multisensory stimulation and – back to our favorite topic – play! And just a couple of years ago, we let nature inspire our selections.  We'll be back in your inbox next month with some fresh ideas for 2026 gifting.